


A Brief History of Reluctant Heroes

by RockSaltAndRoll



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst and Humor, Caretaking, Comrades, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Friendship, Post-A Choice With No Regrets, Pre-Relationship, Titans, Working as a Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-05
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 05:02:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3883288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockSaltAndRoll/pseuds/RockSaltAndRoll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exhausted and numb after witnessing the deaths of his friends, Levi now has to struggle to rebuild his life within the Survey Corps. As much as he hates to admit it, this life suits him and before long he learns to trust the unlikeliest of people - a reckless young soldier with a passion for science and knowledge, the man Levi tried to kill who isn't as stoic and serious as he first appears, and a guy who can smell danger from a mile away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

** Spring, Year 844 **

The low-lying mist that had descended with the storm was finally clearing, even if the rain still showed no sign of clearing up. They were all soaked to the skin, slipping in their saddles as they continued on their course, all squads now in sight of each other having abandoned Erwin Smith’s new long distance scouting formation due to the weather. It had worked well until that storm rolled in, cutting visibility down to a few feet and forcing the entire battalion to close ranks again.

Zoë Hange was really starting to get concerned over the whereabouts of her friends - Erwin and Miké had gone to find the right wing of the vanguard and had been gone too long for her liking. Her stomach knotted uncomfortably and she couldn’t stop herself from peering into the distance to her right as they continued to head south. 

When she spotted them it was sudden – three small dark specks against the vast green backdrop, but she knew it was them. Any relief Hange felt at seeing them dissipated as rapidly as it had arrived, as she saw no more figures behind them. It meant only one thing – the vanguard had encountered Titans and the figure with Erwin and Miké was the only survivor from the squads. With a quick mental calculation, Hange worked out at least fifteen soldiers had been lost. It was significant, but not too much to make them turn back yet. She swiped the rain spatter from her goggles with a finger and narrowed her eyes to work out who the small figure was with Miké and Erwin, somehow not being at all surprised to discover it was Levi, one of the three thugs that Erwin had recruited a month prior to the expedition.

“Hey, Miké!” she called as the trio fell into formation, Erwin riding ahead to find Commander Shadis to give his report and Levi following close behind him, expressionless.  
Miké pulled up beside Hange, his face grave. He knew her question before she even asked it.

“Flagon’s squad is gone, and the front right wing – with the mist, they never saw the Titans coming.”

“Shit,” Hange muttered.

The Survey Corps were used to the losses, but that didn’t mean that it got any easier to bear. She’d liked Flagon – he’d been a little flaky but he’d been a good Captain. He would be missed.

Hange looked in the direction of Erwin who was now talking to Commander Shadis, Levi still tailing him. The guy looked like Hell.

“What the fuck happened out there, Miké?” she asked. “Is he really the only one left?”

Miké snorted softly.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” he replied. “The guy took down four or five Titans all on his own. They were in pieces.”

Hange’s eyebrows shot up.

“Are you serious?”

Miké nodded.

“That’s not even the half of it,” he muttered, casting a glance in Erwin’s direction.

“What do you mean?” Hange asked.

Her friend narrowed his eyes as he glanced at her.

“That little runt and his gang were sent here to kill Erwin...but Erwin already knew that,” Miké explained. “He’s been working alone, gathering evidence against the Corps’ biggest opposer. Apparently, Levi and his gang were instructed to find the evidence and then dispose of Erwin in return for surface citizenship. Levi only survived the Titan ambush because he struck out of his own, looking for Erwin.”

Hange’s eyes were wide behind her rain-spattered goggles.

“You have got to be fucking with me,” she murmured.

Miké shook his head.

“It’s all true.”

“That’s just awful,” Hange replied.

“You’re tellin’ me?” muttered Miké. “I was ready to kill the little bastard for the betrayal myself.”

Hange frowned at him. Her brain worked fast and she was already connecting the dots regarding Erwin Smith’s motives and intentions.

“No, I don’t mean that,” she said irritably. “Erwin has always been five steps ahead of everyone else – he knew what he was doing when he recruited them. They were all good with the ODM gear so he was probably expecting to turn them all and make them into proper soldiers. I mean it’s awful that his friends died, especially when he wasn’t around. What are your bets that he blames himself for that?”

“You don’t think they deserved what they got?” Miké asked, quietly.

She scowled, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Nobody deserves that fate, Miké. You’re well aware of that.”

Hange looked back towards the figure of Levi ahead of them in the column. He looked like he was functioning completely on reflex, his small body adapting his seat to the horse’s stride over the uneven ground, but he didn’t seem to be paying any attention at all to his surroundings, his head staying still as he stared dead ahead.

“You say he killed four or five Titans on his own, right?” She continued.

Miké nodded.

“They were in pieces, so I couldn’t be sure exactly how many.”

“He’s probably wondering what would have happened if he’d chosen differently,” she murmured. “If he’d stayed behind with them, they might have survived. Or if they had gone with him...”

“It doesn’t make them any less dead now. Mulling it over won’t change that fact.”

Hange shrugged as she adjusted her reins.

“You know that, and I know that. But his entire world has just changed in a matter of moments – don’t you remember what it was like the first time you saw a friend’s head being bitten off?”

Miké fell quiet and they continued on in silence.

Pretty soon, they received their orders from further up the line – carry on with the mission. The gloom from the storm clouds would likely keep further Titan attacks to a minimum, as their activity was reduced when there was little to no sunlight. They had at least learned that much about them. The Survey Corps would continue pushing forward until they could find somewhere to camp for the night, and hopefully the weather would be better in the morning.

****

Camp was an old grain storage warehouse on the outskirts of what used to be a small village. It was one of their usual places to camp, long-since cleared of its goods and filled instead with the Survey Corps’ supplies - boxes of blankets and bandages, blades and gas canisters stacked against the wall. The building was over a hundred years old but it was sturdy and repairs were always easy to make. It kept them all dry and warm and safe for a night and that was all anyone really needed out beyond the Walls.

Everyone knew what they needed to do – the Veterinary Officers saw immediately to the horses, making sure they were fed, watered, and uninjured whilst the Medical Officers tended to the soldiers with minor hurts like blisters and cuts and chafing sores. Everybody else busied themselves with scraping together field rations and brewing up hot tea to ease the numbness in their fingers and the bone-deep ache in their bodies.

She noticed Levi quite by accident whilst looking for a nice spot near the wall to make a nest for the night. Hange recognised the look on his face the second she saw it – empty and blank. Picking up an extra blanket, she nudged Miké in the back with her elbow and received an annoyed grunt in response as he looked up from his plate of food.

“How long as he been sitting there, do you think?” she asked, nodding in Levi’s direction.

Miké hastily swallowed his mouthful of bread roll and shrugged.

“Since we got here, I guess. I don’t think he’s moved.”

Levi was sitting on the cold hard ground, back against the wall with his legs bent and his arms resting on his knees, his gaze fixed at a point on the floor in front of him. He was still caked in mud and the blood of his comrades, clearly suffering from shock. He was going to suffer from a hell of a lot more if he didn’t get warmed up and dried off soon.

“Get me a dish with some water and a cloth,” she told Miké, already taking off to the far wall and ignoring her friend’s protests.

Levi didn’t move a muscle as she approached, remaining glued to the spot even as Hange crouched down in front of him.

“Levi?” she tried softly, turning her head to the side in attempt to catch his eye. “Do you remember me? Zoë Hange?”

He said nothing. Levi didn’t even give any indication that he’d heard her at all.

“I wouldn’t bother,” Miké said from behind her. “There’s nobody home Hange. I think he’s cracked.”

Hange turned and scowled, reaching up to take the small dish of warm water that Miké was holding.

“Don’t be a dick,” she chided. “Go make yourself useful and bring me some tea and food.”

“What did your last slave die of?” groused Miké.

“My foot up their ass,” Hange retorted swiftly. “Now get, before you find yourself in the same situation.”

Miké snorted softly with amusement as he turned and left, giving her a half-hearted salute and leaving her to it. Sighing, she turned back to Levi and smiled.

“Don’t mind him,” she said quietly. “He can be a total asshole sometimes but he’s got a good heart really. Now...”

Hange looked Levi over. He was shaking slightly but she put that down to his wet clothing more than anything else. The blood that covered his face and hands didn’t appear to be his own.

“Levi? You’re wet and cold, and if we don’t get you dried off warmed up you’ll catch your death. So I’m just going to remove your cloak and clean off some of this blood, then we’ll get something hot inside your belly, okay? You’ll be right as rain in no time at all.”

Levi still didn’t move, or blink, or speak. Sighing again, Hange unfastened the clasp of the saturated green wool cloak around his shoulders and placed it to dry over a nearby crate, replacing it instead with the thick blanket she’d brought over with her. The rest of Levi’s clothing didn’t seem too bad and would likely dry quickly once his body temperature rose again, so she got to work on cleaning the blood away, dipping a scrap of cloth into the dish and gently washing it away.

A few minutes later, Miké reappeared with a dish of warm stew and a cup of steaming tea which he set down next to Hange as he crouched.

“Has he still not said anything?”

Hange shook her head.

“No, but at least we’ve stopped the shivering.”

Miké made a small noise in the back of his throat.

“What a waste,” he muttered. “He might be a traitorous, murdering bastard but he would have made a damn fine Scout.”

Hange shoved him roughly, knocking him sideways.

“You’re no help at all. Go on, get lost. I’ll be fine here.”

Miké gave Levi another glance over and a cursory sniff before standing up and walking away, satisfied that his comrade could take care of herself.

Hange reached over and tugged the blanket a little closer over Levi’s shoulders before picking up the teacup.

“Here,” she murmured with a smile. “This should help a little – nice hot tea.”

Carefully, she wrapped his hands around the warm cup and sat back on her heels, watching. Sure enough, within a few minutes she saw Levi blink and then his eyes focussed on the cup, following the soft curl of steam rising from its surface until he was looking directly at Hange. With a sigh of relief, she smiled at him again.

“There you are,” she murmured. “Welcome back.”

****

He’d been lost inside of his own head, going over everything again and again. His mission had been doomed to failure from the start, is every move orchestrated by the very man he’d been sent to kill. Levi didn’t know how he hadn’t figured out at least some part of it, had any idea at all that they’d been only pawns from the start. 

Erwin had told him not to dwell on his own actions, that second-guessing and doubting himself was a sure way to end up dead, but still Levi would not push the thought that Farlan and Isabel might still be alive if he’d just done things differently. It wouldn’t bring them back and he knew that, but still, the knowledge that his friends – no, his family – were dead was crushing.

Levi was barely aware of anything he did after he’d climbed back up onto his horse and followed Erwin back to the main column. He’d known that he was riding, knew when they stopped, and had enough wits to find somewhere to sit, but apart from that it was like he’d been sleepwalking for the last few hours. 

The thing that brought him back around was the sudden warmth in his hands, seeping into his skin and spreading up through his arms. Levi was surprised to find that he was holding a cup of dark, swirling tea, and even more surprised to find that woman from the night before, rocking back and forward on her heels and smiling at him. She’d been cheerful, over-familiar and bubbly, and Levi had been unsure how to handle it, but she had enthusiastically complemented all three of them on their skill with the ODM gear and congratulated them on their kills that day. She hadn’t looked down her nose at any of them.

“There you are,” she said, sitting back with a soft bump on the floor. “Welcome back.”

Levi quickly figured out that the tea was her doing, and, he realised, he was out of his wet cloak and bundled in a thick warm blanket instead. 

“I’m not gonna lie,” the woman continued. “You had me worried for a little while, but you’re with us again so I guess we’ll call it a win. You’ve been through hell today.”

No shit, Levi thought as he stared at her. He couldn’t quite remember her name but he was sure she was a Captain.

“You know,” she continued, her tone light and conversational as she put her hands on the ground behind her and reclined slightly. “I threw up on my first expedition outside of the walls. Puked my guts out all night – it was not attractive in the slightest.

You see, when I graduated from the Military Academy and joined the Scouts, I was fifteen. There were thirty-two of us who joined up together, all full of fire and ready to get out there and kill us some Titans. I lived with those guys for three years – they were practically family and, well, we got ambushed by Titans about an hour away from the wall. 

I watched my best friend get torn apart by two Titans fighting over her. You know, I can still remember what her screams sounded like? She was terrified and I couldn’t do a thing except watch them rip her to pieces. The sound of a spine snapping isn’t anything like you think it would be – it’s not a grinding or crunching sound. It’s more like a ‘pop’, and then the skin tears like a shirt ripped at the seams, blood raining down...”

She paused for a second and then let out a small laugh void of mirth.

“Well...you can understand all the puking now, right? At the end of the first year, nineteen of the original thirty two we started with were dead, all killed in pretty similar situations. Nine years later, you wanna know how many of those thirty two are still alive?”

Levi blinked, unable to stop the slight incline of his head.

“Me,” she said softly. “Over the last nine years I’ve watched all thirty one of them die. I don’t think I’ve thrown up since the first time, but it’s still been pretty horrible. And that’s not counting all the other comrades the Corps has lost along the way.”

It was indeed pretty horrible, enough to make him feel sick to his stomach all over again. Levi looked down at his cup.

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked, his voice sounding unfamiliar to his own ears.

The Captain smiled at him again.

“So that you know you’re not alone. Every person in this room has a similar story – we’ve all been through hell and we keep going through it every time we step outside of those walls.”

Levi’s mouth twisted bitterly and he raised the cup of cooling tea to his mouth to hide it. The rest of the scouts might have suffered losses like he just had, but Levi doubted many had themselves to blame for their friend’s deaths. 

No, he thought to himself. What was it Erwin had said? The Titans had killed Isabel and Farlan – not Levi, not Erwin Smith, not any of the Scouts. The Titans were to blame, and Levi had made his choice right there in the mud beside the corpses that he would fight against them. Like it or not, Levi had made his bed and now he had to lie in it – he had to learn to trust Erwin Smith.

Slowly, he looked up from his teacup and fixed his gaze on the Captain still lounging casually on the floor in front of him.

“Zoë, is it?” he asked.

She made a face.

“Please, call me Hange. Zoë makes me feel five years old and in trouble for making mud pies.”

“Hange,” repeated Levi, quietly. “Can I ask you a question?”

Captain Hange beamed at him.

“Of course.”

“Do you trust him?” Levi asked. “Erwin Smith – do you trust him?”

Zoë Hange cocked her head to the side like a dog and studied Levi for a few seconds before answering.

“Sure, I trust him to have my back in a bar fight but if you’re asking if I trust him with my life as a commanding officer? Not as far as I can throw him. But here’s the thing - you’re not supposed to trust your CO with your life. They’re not there to hold your hand - that’s not their job. Their job is to assess the situation and make a judgement call based on the information that they have, and that call almost always leads to somebody’s death. 

The trick to a good leader is knowing how many lives are worth sacrificing to win the battle. We’re at war with the Titans and make no mistake about it, we’re not winning. Not yet. But everybody here believes that humanity are not meant to be shut behind walls. We were here first and we’ll get it back, even if every Scout’s life is sacrificed for that. So…do I trust Erwin with my life? No. But I trust him to make the right call, so if it does happen that my life is next, that the sacrifice has gained something. Trust in your peers to keep you alive. Trust your COs to make the right call.”

Levi blinked at her. Despite the exhaustion that ran deep through his entire body and the rawness he felt over losing Isabel and Farlan, he couldn’t help but feel a stab of amusement at Hange’s speech.

“Are you telling me you really believe in this ‘for the good of humanity’ bullshit?” he asked.

Hange grinned at him and sat up, dusting off her hands.

“Yes, I do. I have to believe in something, otherwise what the hell is the point of life?”

Levi watched her as she scrambled to her feet, long legs getting in the way of a graceful manoeuvre. Hange had a point, he had to admit – if you didn’t believe that what you were doing could make a difference then what was the point to anything at all?

He shut his eyes tightly as a new wave of exhaustion hit him and his head tipped back, bumping off the cold stone wall behind him. 

“Get some sleep, Levi,” he heard Hange say, her voice sounding distant. “We’re taking off again at sunrise tomorrow.”

Levi nodded, setting his cup aside and drawing the blanket tighter around his shoulders. Part of him was still wishing he’d wake up in the morning and find this had all been nothing but a bad dream, but he knew better – it had happened before, and wishing didn’t make it any less real. He was a Scout now and in the morning he would get up and fight alongside them against the Titan threat.


	2. Chapter 2

** Summer, Year 844 **

 

“But Commander Shadis, if we just...”

“For the last time Captain Hange, drop the issue!”

It wasn’t unusual for conversations like this to end up in a shouting match between the Commander of the Survey Corps and his Titan-enthusiast subordinate. Most had learned to stay well away and pretend it wasn’t happening, while others hung around in the corridors outside, listening in and wondering if Shadis would snap this time and throttle Captain Hange with his bare hands.

It was mostly the younger Scouts who listened in, giving each other concerned looks as the voices inside the office grew louder and angrier. There was a sound like a hand or a fist slamming against wood, presumably Hange’s as she growled her response.

“Why? Why should I drop it, Commander? Do you really think that we can go on forever knowing virtually nothing about them? For fuck’s sake, it’s been almost a hundred years running on the bare minimum of knowledge and this is going to go on forever unless we...”

Hange’s voice was cut off by the sound of a loud crash, which was a good indicator that Shadis had thrown something at her, or even flipped his desk over in anger.

“I SAID NO, HANGE!” Shadis roared, his voice causing the heavy office door to rattle on its hinges. “I REFUSE TO FURTHER RISK THE LIVES OF MY SCOUTS FOR YOUR HAIRBRAINED IDEAS. NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT, AND I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN FOR A WHOLE WEEK!”

The young Scouts scattered at the sound of angry footsteps, scurrying away as Captain Hange yanked open the door and stormed from the office, her face so red it could probably give off steam. There wasn’t a soul in sight as she slammed the door behind her and all but charged down the corridor and down the stairs in the direction of her own room.

Hange was beyond livid. It had been over a year since the incident where she had kicked a severed Titan head in anger and watched it bounce and roll away from her like it was filled with air. She had known in that moment that there was more to Titans than everyone had believed, and if she could just convince the Commander to let her capture just one, Hange could prove it. Her every effort however, had been rebuked in ever increasing degrees of hostility. At the rate she was going, Hange was likely to be busted down to Private Soldier and stand even less chance of getting her way.

Furiously, she kicked the door of her room open, sending three of the barracks’ resident cats scattering in fright before laying into whatever she could get her hands on to relieve her frustration. Hange kicked at the chest sitting at the foot of her bed, sending it flying into the wall and scattering clothes everywhere. She hurled her pillows, threw her single wooden chair across the room, and pushed all her books and papers from the desk with a scream.

Why would that stubborn, stupid old man not listen to reason?

“It’s not really fair, you know. It’s not like the room can fight back.”

Hange startled at the quiet, almost lazy voice behind her and spun to face the threat. Levi was leaning casually against her doorframe, arms folded across his chest, and his grey eyes calmly surveying the damage Hange’s rampage had caused. Immediately, her angry expression dissolved and was replaced by a bright smile instead.

“Levi!” she breezed. “There was a rat. Sneaky little bastard got away!”

Levi blinked, a thin, dark eyebrow arching doubtfully.

“With the sheer amount of cats that just ran out of here, I seriously believe that’s complete bullshit. Unless the rat happens to be the size of a horse.”

Hange’s smile slipped. Honestly, she’d known the moment it had spilled forth from her mouth that it was the dumbest excuse for trashing her room. Frowning, she sagged against the wall and peered closely at the back of her hands.

“I heard some angry raised voices coming from the Commander’s office a little while ago. Lovers spat?”

Hange snorted. Since they had come back from that fateful expedition a couple of months before, she had learned in detail about Levi’s sense of humour. He was a sarcastic little bastard with an over-fondness for toilet jokes all said with the straightest of faces, but Hange liked him.

“Professional disagreement,” she replied with a wry smile.

“Is that what it was? You know, I think if you two maybe shouted a little louder they could have heard you all the way in the interior.”

Hange smirked.

“I’ll bear that in mind for next time.”

She looked up to find Levi’s grey eyes studying her closely, his head tilted to the side slightly.

“You know,” Levi continued, “You make out to be all sunshine and daisies, but you really hide a lot of rage under that smile, don’t you?”

“What could possibly give you that impression?” she replied lightly.

From his place leaning against the doorframe, Levi shrugged. It was a tiny movement, barely visible, but definitely there. Apart from looking eternally pissed off, Levi’s gestures were always minimal except for when he was killing Titans. Hange thought he was just about the most graceful and amazing fighter she’d ever seen in her life. She didn’t dare give much thought to how he’d ended up this way.

“She used to channel it all into killing Titans until she woke up one day and decided that she’d rather try and convince Shadis to let her capture and study them instead,” Mike said, suddenly appearing at her door, followed closely by Erwin who shuffled past Levi to survey the damage inside.

Erwin Smith and Mike Zakarius had both graduated the Military Academy in the two years before Hange had. They had all been friends for years, naturally gravitating towards each other after surviving one mission after another, despite their differing personalities.

Mike often appeared gruff and callous, but he was level-headed and quick on his feet for being such a large man. He also had the keenest sense of smell Hange had ever encountered – he could tell it was going to rain before there was even a cloud in the sky, and he could smell Titans coming from a mile away. Erwin on the other hand had a reputation for being very serious and shrewd. It was true that Erwin had a knack for playing the political game very well, always willing to gamble under the right conditions and played his cards close to his chest, but he powered by passion and a strong belief in giving everything for the sake of humanity. Neither men were boring though - some of Hange’s best times in the Survey Corps had been spent in their company and even if they teased her about her ideas on Titans, they were still her best friends in the world.

“It’s the truth,” Erwin replied as he leaned back against the wall, a small smile playing on his lips. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and his arms were folded loosely over his chest, casually surveying the damage around him.

Levi’s other eyebrow shot up to meet the other one.

“Are you shitting me?”

“Not in the slightest,” Mike said, grinning.

“Why in the hell would you want to do that?” Levi asked, his eyes shifting from Mike to Hange.

Hange sighed heavily and fell onto her bed which was currently the only place in the room that wasn’t trashed, and rolled over to face them all. Almost immediately, the cats that had been frightened away by her outburst slinked back into the room to rub up against her legs and climb onto her lap. The Survey Corps barracks were home to many cats, that kept the pest control problem down and provided much needed comfort to nightmare-stricken Scouts in return for a warm, dry home and people to use as cushions. Hange gave the ears of a particularly skinny tabby a light scratch before replying.

“Because,” she said lightly, “it’s the only real way I can see us moving forward.”

“Hange believes that there’s more to the Titans than what appears on the surface,” Erwin explained to Levi.

“That’s because it’s true!” she insisted.

Turning to Levi, she began to explain her reasoning.

“Our fight with the Titans is mainly driven by hate, by revenge, right? They decimated the world’s population and forced us behind these walls. They are monsters that need to be eradicated, yes?”

Levi gave a slight nod.

“Okay,” Hange continued, “But how are we ever going to get rid of them, wipe them off the face of the earth, when we know virtually nothing about them?”

“What are you talking about?” Levi asked, his brow furrowing again. “We know exactly how to kill them.”

“We didn’t until more recently,” replied Hange. “When the Survey Corps was first set up, they didn’t have 3D Manoeuvre Gear. They didn’t know about the weak spot at all. Do you know how they found out?”

From his place against the doorframe, Mike sighed.

“They captured Titans. We know, Hange.”

“They also suffered significant losses when trying to do it in the past,” added Erwin.

Hange grinned at him.

“That’s because they didn’t have me,” she replied.

She watched as Erwin and Mike exchanged a look that she’d seen many times before.

“I know you think I’m crazy,” Hange added. “But I don’t care, because I know I’m right. And I’m going to keep fighting for my chance to prove it.”

“You’ll be fighting for a long time then, pal,” replied Mike, finally pushing himself up from the doorframe.

“I’m afraid he’s right,” said Erwin quietly. “It’s too risky – the casualty rate is high enough as it already is, never mind needlessly endangering more lives trying to capture a Titan. It’s not that I think you’re crazy – you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever known and I’m sure that, if given the chance, you can find answers to some of those questions you have. But right now, I’m not sure that those questions are worth putting lives in unnecessary danger. If I was in command, I’d make the same call as Shadis.”

“Me too,” agreed Mike. “You’re probably right in thinking that there’s a lot to learn but...it’s just not worth it right now.”

Hange frowned and drew her knees up to her chest, startling the cat in her lap and forcing it to scurry away to hide under her desk.

“You’re wrong,” she muttered.

Erwin shrugged and stood up from the wall, shaking his head gently as he walked to the door, following Mike.

“I’m sorry, Hange,” he told her gently. “Maybe if something comes up in the future that makes it worth taking the risk...”

She turned her head away from them, resting her cheek against her knees as she hugged them tightly and tried to force back the bitterness she felt about the whole situation. The Survey Corps had been commissioned to scout the lands beyond the walls and learn everything they could about Titans, all those years ago before they even knew Titans could be killed and before they had the means to kill them. As far as Hange was concerned, they had not yet learned everything there was to know about their enemy. There was more to find out and she could discover it all if only somebody would give her the resources.

With a loud groan, Hange fell back on the bed, grabbing the pillow from behind her head and covering her face with it, screaming into the feather-filled bag. All she needed was a chance.

****

Levi would never admit it out loud, but he was fascinated by the officers of the Scouting Legion.

Mike Zakarius had been the easiest to figure out – generally didn’t have much to say but when he did it was usually pretty blunt and slightly sarcastic. They had almost instantly struck up a kind of rivalry after Levi’s second expedition, competing on who could make the most kills during the mission – Levi had only beaten him by one. Erwin still played his cards close to his chest like he had when Levi had first known him, still as unreadable as always but Hange had been right when she’d told Levi that there was more to Erwin than his stoicism. Levi had seen the man smile and even laugh in the past few weeks, and he was an encouraging and inspiring officer. And then there was Hange – messy, sloppy Hange with her long nose always stuck in a book and tea spilled down her shirt, who was loud and too cheerful in the mornings and so incredibly...kind.

It was a difficult position Levi found himself in. The more time he spent n the Scouting Legion the more he was convinced it was the best life for him. He’d finally made it up top, made it beyond the Walls and had the freedom and the clear air he’d craved his whole life. It would have been perfect if...

No...he couldn’t keep thinking like that, about what might have been in Farlan and Isabel were still with him. Perhaps that’s why he found himself gravitating towards Erwin, Hange, and Mike. The three of them seemed to be thick as thieves despite their personalities being so different. That’s probably the way the world had seen Levi and his friends – a mismatched trio brought together vy circumstance but remaining together through the trust they built and the different things they brought to the table.

Levi watched Erwin and Mike leave, their broad shoulders taking up the entire width of the corridor as they walked side by side. Part of him was a little envious of their height and build, the product of healthy childhoods with sunshine, fresh air, and sufficient nourishment, but Levi also knew that his own height and build had served him well enough over the years. He was fast and he was strong and he was the best at what he did. His permanent scowl did enough to make most a little afraid of him and the younger scouts stayed well clear. Almost everyone left him alone expect for those three.

His grey eyes turned back to Hange, lying flat on her back with a pillow over her face, cats already beginning to swarm her. Hange’s room was trashed, which irked him. It would probably stay that way, with clothes scattered all over the floor, the wooden chair lying on its side, and her books and research papers scattered everywhere unless somebody helped her to tidy it up.

“What’s the big deal with capturing Titans anyway?” he asked out of curiosity, stooping to right the fallen chair and begin to pick up the books from the floor.

Hange lifted the corner of the pillow from her face.

“Do you really want to know or are you just searching for something to say?”

Levi shrugged as he placed a few small leather-bound volumes back on the desk.

“I’ve never really been one to waste my breath on meaningless conversation.”

She lifted the pillow completely from her face and grinned at him, tossing the pillow behind her head and propping herself up on her elbows.

“Alright,” she replied brightly. “A year or so ago, I had a revelation. I kicked a Titan’s severed head out of frustration and anger, much like I kicked my clothes chest not ten minutes ago, but instead of the head staying still due its size, instead of me hurting my foot on its thick skull, it flew into the air and bounced down the hill at a quite alarming rate. It was like it didn’t weigh a thing. You’ve seen them – Titans are strong and they’re big. It makes sense that they should be heavy, but that head wasn’t. I’ve picked up severed limbs of various classed Titans since and they’re all the same – light as a feather. It shouldn’t be possible.”

Levi’s eyebrows rose again. He’d only been on a couple of expeditions in the short time he’d been with the Scouts, but it had never occurred to him to do any more than cut out the name of the monsters’ necks. That was disgusting enough – hot sticky blood inevitably covering his skin, that old, rotting smell that permeated his nostrils.

Zoe Hange looked positively in her element, her hazel eyes growing wide and bright behind her glasses, now sitting up straight and using her hands as she talked.

“More than that,” Hange continued, “some of them are very disproportioned with huge, bulbous heads in comparison to their body. It should have registered sooner that their bodies would never be able to support something that weighed so much, but I suppose when you’re trying your best to take it down before it eats you, it’s not something in the forefront of your mind. I just...I have so many questions Levi! I don’t just want to know where they came from or why they eat us. I want to know how they are so strong when their bodies weigh next to nothing. I want to know why they run so hot that their blood evaporates and their corpses disintegrate before our very eyes. I want to know how they survive for so long without eating; if the back of their neck really is their only weak spot and if it is, then I want to know why. Why do some of them deviate from what we perceive to be ‘normal’ Titan behaviour and what is it that drives them and makes them different?”

She looked at him excitedly as she waited for his response, her cheeks flushed. Hange could almost have been adorable, taking with such passion and conviction. Almost.

“Why do you really even care?” he asked, looking at the floor again as he began to pick up some of the research papers that had fallen under the bed.

Hange threw herself backwards with a noise of frustration, bouncing slightly on the mattress.

“How could you say that? How can you all just sit there and be content with the tiny amount of knowledge and not want to know more?”

“I just don’t see how the answers to those questions will help humanity eliminate the threat,” muttered Levi, concentrating harder than he normally would on tidying the floor space. “Sure it would be interesting but that’s all.”

She rolled onto her side, propping her head up on her hand and looked at him, the fire in her eyes already starting to die. Levi had the grace to feel a little bad about shooting her down.

“Even you, huh? That’s disappointing.”

He put the final few papers back on the desk and shrugged again.

“I hate to agree with Blondie and his Sniffer Dog but I don’t see it making a blind bit of difference to getting rid of those monsters.”

Hange’s brow furrowed for a second before the expression was replaced by a brilliant smile.

“You’ll see,” she replied with optimism. “I’m not giving up on this and I don’t care if everybody thinks I’m crazy – I’ll be proven right one day and then you’ll all be bowing and scraping at my feet, begging for forgiveness. ‘Oh, Goddess Hange! How could we have doubted your keen mind and sharp intellect for one second? We are but worthless worms in your presence!’”

Levi snorted gently.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, Four-Eyes but I can’t see that happening.”

“That’s Captain Four-Eyes to you, Corporal! And as I said, I’m going to keep fighting for it because even if nobody else thinks the risk to know more is worth it, I do.”

“Just so you know, if you fuck up and get snatched by a Titan, I am not putting my neck out to come save you.”

“Good. I’d prefer to die knowing that the Legion’s best fighter isn’t stupid enough to come after me.”

Levi shook his head. She was stubborn, and mad...completely mad. He’d seen her during Titan attacks – streaming out ahead of the others and whooping at the top of her lungs. Hange was a good fighter, a good leader, but she could get reckless. Levi had no doubt that she’d probably try to capture a Titan on her own if she got the opportunity.

“You’re insane. And you’re covered in cat hair.”

Hange barely looked down at the three cats curled into her body before smirking at him.

“At least the cats believe me when I say that capturing a Titan can make the difference and further advance scientific discovery.”

Levi rolled his eyes, deciding now might possibly be a good time to follow Erwin and Mike’s example and leave.

“In that case, they’re as crazy as you are.”

He didn’t stick around to hear a reply, closing the door behind him and leaning against it heavily with a sigh. He couldn’t quite place his finger on why, but he was uneasy about Zoe Hange’s determination to catch a Titan. As much as he’d told her he wouldn’t, Levi knew he’d probably end up having to watch her back soon enough.


	3. Chapter 3

** Autumn, Year 844 **

 

The air was already starting to turn chill despite the clear sky and the bright sun that shone down on the Scouts of the Survey Corps as they milled about in the streets of Shiganshina district, waiting for the sound of the canons to die down so they could begin their next expedition. The leaves on the trees were turning gold and russet at the edges and mixing with the summer greens, but in Shiganshina there was a serious lack of foliage due to the district being crammed with houses and shops and leaving no space for trees.

Zoë Hange had been incredibly antsy all morning, desperate to get out beyond the walls and breathe the free air of the world outside. She was already on horseback, shifting restlessly in the saddle when she spotted Levi a few feet from her, brow furrowed in concentration as he tightened the girth on his own horse. She’d never tell him, but watching him next to the Survey Corps’ large, specially trained horses was possibly the most adorable thing she’d ever seen - his head barely even reached up to their long, velvet-soft noses, but he kept cubes of sugar hidden in his jacket pocket and slipped them to the horses on the sly. In return, they quite adored him and he was always the victim of especially forceful, affectionate head rubs from his own beast.

She smiled to herself as three small children, the oldest being no more than six years old, approached Levi from behind, suppressing their giggles behind their hands and nudging each other forward cautiously until the smallest – a mousy-haired little girl – tugged gently at the hem of Levi’s green cloak. He spun, the expression of annoyance on his face enough to send a grown man running in the opposite direction until his grey eyes fell on the three small children and suddenly his brow smoothed, his eyes softer and the line of his mouth not as tight. Levi didn’t look exactly friendly, but he’d deliberately made his face look less threatening in light of the kids gazing up at him with a mixture of shyness and wonder.

“What?” he asked, not unkindly.

The youngest giggled and ran behind her brother, peeking out from behind his elbow as the boy puffed himself up and took it upon himself to speak on behalf of the others.

“Excuse me sir,” the little boy asked. “Are you Corporal Levi?”

One of Levi’s eyebrows arched gently and Hange watched as he lowered himself to one knee, bringing himself down to their level. Swiftly, Hange’s hand delved into her saddle bag and broke off the end of her bread roll which she promptly threw at Miké Zakarius’s head. Her friend growled as his hair was peppered with crumbs and he glared at her, opening his mouth to yell until she silenced him with a finger to her lips and pointed in Levi’s direction. Miké’s eyes followed the line of her hand and then they went wide upon seeing Levi conversing with small children. Hange grinned.

“Isn’t that just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen?” she whispered.

“Huh...” Miké quietly replied as he continued to watch.

Hange turned her attention back to Levi, on one knee in the cobbled street before three excited little kids.

“I guess I am,” Levi told them.

The other boy giggled.

“My dad said that you’re real strong,” he said.

“My dad said you’re a criminal,” the oldest boy added.

Both of Levi’s thin eyebrows shot up. He looked almost amused.

“Huh...” he replied mildly. “Well, I guess both of those statements could hold some weight.”

The little girl finally stepped out from behind her brother and looked at Levi shyly as she pulled at the sleeve of her dress.

“I wanna grow up to be a Scout, just like you,” she said.

Levi blinked.

“Really?” he murmured. “Well, you have a few years ahead of you. You might change your mind when you’re older.”

“Is being in the Scouts dangerous, Corporal Levi?”asked the oldest boy.

“Yes,” Levi replied immediately. “But at this point, I don’t think I’d choose to be anywhere else.”

Hange glanced at Miké and grinned at her friend’s surprised expression. Ever since Levi had joined the Survey Corps, they were all discovering that the former underground thug was full of surprises. Not one to give much away on the surface and generally quiet, Levi wasn’t blessed with the social graces when it came to adults, but certainly seemed to be able to talk to kids without a problem. Nobody who met Levi would ever guess that he had an affinity with animals and small children.

One of the kids opened their mouth to say something else when the call came from the front to mount up. They all looked disappointed when Levi stood, but their expressions changed to delight when he took three cubes of sugar from inside his jacket and gave them one each.

“Stay out of the street,” he called after them as they ran off into the crowd, clutching their sweets and giggling.

Hange could swear that his mouth was slightly curled up at the corner as Levi turned to mount his horse, stopping dead when he saw Hange and Miké looking at him.

“What?” Levi said, his frown returning as he hauled himself up into the saddle and adjusted his feet in the stirrups.

“Nothing,” replied Miké mildly, turning his head to hide a smile.

“We didn’t say a word,” Hange added with a smirk.

Levi’s grey eyes shifted from one to the other as the rest of the Corps mounted up around him.

“Good,” he replied.

Hange’s smirk turned into a fully fledged grin as she adjusted the grip on her reins and squeezed with her knees, spurring her horse on to take her place behind Erwin on the left wing with Miké to her right and Levi behind her. The restless excitement was beginning to return as the gate slowly began to open and everyone shifted in their saddles as the call to advance came.

This was Hange’s favourite part, the moment where the Survey Corps moved forward as one, horses all spurred into an immediate canter across the remaining stone cobbles as they advanced through the gate and into the wide open space beyond the wall. The air was different out here, cleaner and free, hitting her face and whipping through her hair leaving her breathless, her cloak streaming out behind her. Hange felt like she was flying and she couldn’t stop the laughter that bubbled up.

It was dangerous beyond the wall but, just as Levi had said, Hange wouldn’t ever want to be anywhere else.

****

It had been a good day as far as the Survey Corps was concerned – clear skies and crisp air allowed them to make the most of Erwin Smith’s new long range scouting formation and they had made it the whole day with only three casualties.

“Let’s not get too comfortable just yet,” Erwin murmured to Levi as the company stopped in a ruined village for the night. “We still have maybe an hour till sundown, and with everyone congregating in the same place we might see some action before it gets dark.”

Levi snorted gently as he dismounted, dropping gracefully to the ground.

“You shouldn’t say crap like that,” he replied. “You’ve just made sure that it’ll happen.”

Erwin smiled at him, a small, brief quirk of his mouth as he unloaded his saddle bag and hoisted it onto his shoulder.

“I’ve learned from experience,” Erwin said.

The place they had stopped in for the night used to be a village from the time before the wall. Most of the houses were still ruined but there were a few buildings that had been repaired over the years and provided enough shelter and warmth for a night. Everyone knew their jobs and got to them right away, using what remained of the early autumn evening light to get camp set up swiftly and efficiently.

Levi should have known better than to start feeling hopeful no Titans would appear before dark.

The sun was low, casting a rose-tinted glow across the cloudless sky when Miké Zakarius dropped down beside him from a nearby rooftop, face grave and nose twitching. Levi had almost laughed when he’d heard of Miké’s sharp nose, not believing for a second that he could detect small shifts in the air and catch the barest scent. He’d quickly learned that it was no joke at all. Miké’s sense of smell served as their best early warning system, and the moment he appeared at Levi’s side he knew that Titans were close by.

“Erwin!”

The Section Commander looked up from the map he’d been reviewing with Commander Shadis, understanding the situation immediately as he saw Miké hurrying towards him with Levi just behind him.

“Titans?” murmured Hange, appearing out of nowhere to fall into step behind Levi.

“How many?” Erwin called, already stepping away from the Commander and heading towards the horses.

“Five,” replied Miké. “Coming from the West, moving fast.”

“They know we’re here,” Hange said.

“I’m blaming Erwin,” Levi chipped in.

The Section Commander’s eyebrows shot up and that faint smile Levi had seen earlier reappeared. Levi hauled himself up onto his horse as the other three did the same.

“If there are five, I’m confident that the four of us can take them down. Head for the tree line and get them separated. Levi, you go with Hange and Miké stay with me. We’ll keep them away from the main camp and just hope that there are no abnormal amongst them.”

The two Captains nodded in acknowledgement and Levi followed them as they all took off at speed, away from the camp and towards the line of trees to the West.

He heard the Titans before he saw them, a rumble like thunder that shook the ground beneath him before they came stumbling into view, bug-eyed and grinning. Levi drew his twin blades and adjusted his grip on the reins as Erwin signalled for them to split up, turning left with Miké as Levi veered to the right with Hange. Three of the five Titans turned to follow them.

It wasn’t anything that Levi couldn’t handle – three ten-meter Titans giving a bumbling chase. God, but how Levi despised these things.

“Levi!” Hange called, glancing at him over her shoulder as he caught up to her. “I’m going to be the bait, okay? I’ll lead them ahead and you get behind them. We can get them from both sides when I reach the trees.”

Levi’s brows shot up.

“Are you crazy?”

“Just do as you’re told!” she shouted back, her brow creased. “You’re better at the blades and I’m the better rider – we can do this if you follow damn orders!”

Hange was right of course. Levi was so use to being around her in her normal state of cheerful craziness that he’d forgotten about this side of her – the Captain of the Fourth Squad, a capable and smart leader. He’d been blown away the first time Captain Hange had appeared, materialising from the laughing, joking Hange that he knew and into a leader with quick reaction times and fast, accurate decision-making that saved the lives of her squad. Levi knew that he could trust her judgement.

Giving her a swift nod, he split off and made for the tree line with Hange making as much noise as possible to keep the Titans’ attention. One of them followed him, lurching to the side and away from the others.

Activating his 3DMG, Levi slipped his feet from the stirrups and launched out of his saddle, aiming for the trees ahead. It was easy enough to lure the huge lurching body in after him – Levi didn’t need it to get more than three trees in before he could get behind it, spinning fast past its head and slicing through the nape of its neck like he was cutting cheese.

He didn’t even stop to look as the giant chunk of meat crashed down, instantly collapsing to the ground. Levi sped through the edge of the tree line to catch up with Hange and the other two Titans pursuing her. His Captain was doing pretty well for herself – getting high up into a treetop and dropping down onto the back of one of the grinning ten-meters, cutting its nape with ease before somersaulting away with a loud whoop.

That left one more for Levi to take down. It never saw the whirlwind that was Levi and his flesh paring blades coming, its attention fully focussed on Hange. Levi kept his balance as the Titan crashed to the ground, headfirst, his momentum awarding Levi the opportunity to slide down the bridge of its nose and jump off the end with enormous satisfaction. His hands and blades were covered in hot, sticky blood and Levi automatically took a cloth from his pocket and began to wipe them clean, his nose wrinkled in disgust as he looked up to search for Hange.

She was sitting on a patch of grass next to the Titan she had killed, legs crossed like a child and grinning at him.

“What?” he asked.

“Oh nothing,” Hange replied cheerfully. “It’s just an absolute pleasure to watch you work. It’s something I’m not getting over any time soon.”

Levi ducked his head and concentrated very hard on cleaning off his blades.

“Shut up,” he muttered.

Levi had never learned to take a compliment, and such high praise made him feel awkward, like his skin was too tight for his body. He wasn’t sure if he liked it, and somehow when it came from Hange’s mouth it just made him feel all the more embarrassed.

Hange chuckled at him as she stood up and brushed herself down. Miké and Erwin were already racing towards them, having taken down their own two Titans. The Section Commander looked at the Titan corpses and gave a satisfactorily nod.

“Everybody okay here?” Erwin asked.

Levi glanced up at Hange who beamed at him.

“Fine,” Levi replied quietly as he stowed the dirty cloth back inside his jacket.

“You two did a good job,” continued Erwin. “We should get out of here and back to camp before the sun disappears.”

Levi nodded, already spotting his horse making her way back to him as Miké and Erwin turned and headed back to the ramshackle village at a brisk trot.

“C’mon, Corporal,” Hange said, gently taking the reins of her horse as it trotted back to her. “Remind me to buy you lunch when we get home and you can tell me all about how you perform that excellent spinning manoeuvre...”

****

Levi found it fascinating the way that Hange always found a corner at the end of the day and immediately began scribbling in a battered notebook that she always kept tucked safely inside her jacket. It seemed to be her top priority every evening, when everyone else was taking advantage of the lack of Titan activity to settle down with food and a little tea and wrapping themselves in cloaks and blankets, to write in that journal. He had no idea what was so important that she couldn’t eat first.

“Has she even eaten yet?” he asked Miké who, as always, was happily tucking into his own meal.

“Nah,” Miké replied, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and following Levi’s gaze to where Hange sat absorbed in her notebook.

Levi sighed irritably.

“Somebody should get her to put that book down,” he grumbled. “She’s been riding all day without food, and then assisting in taking those Titans down before.”

Miké let out a short laugh and clapped Levi briefly on the shoulder.

“Good luck with that.”

Levi frowned. The woman was a complete mess, with twigs and leaves still stuck in her tangled hair from their venture into the trees a short while ago, and dust still clinging to her skin from the long day’s ride. Hange really failed to take care of herself and that young kid from her squad – Moblit, Levi thought his name was – was driving himself frantic with his failed attempts to get her to put her book down. With another sigh, Levi stood up and went to fetch some rations and tea for her. It looked like he’d have to be the tough guy here. Not that he was overly concerned with her welfare or anything, but she had just acted as bait so that Levi could kill a few Titans.

She didn’t even look up as he approached and nudged her leg gently with his foot.

“Hey, Hange?” he said, balancing a bowl in one hand and a cup of tea in the other.

“Huh...?” Hange replied, still not tearing her eyes away from the page as she scribbled faster.

Levi blinked.

“Hey, Shitty-Glasses,” he said louder, causing a few Scouts to turn around in shock. “Put the book down and eat something.”

Still she didn’t move and Levi realised that he was going to have to do something a little more drastic. Crouching down, he placed the bowl and the tea on the floor, and then yanked the notebook out of Hange’s hands.

“Hey!” she said indignantly, trying in vain to snatch for it as Levi held it out of reach. “What the hell, Levi?”

“I’m doing you a favour, Four-Eyes,” he replied, scooping the dish from the floor and dumping it into her outstretched hands. “If you don’t eat, you’ll pass out and Commander Shadis will kick your skinny ass and use you as Titan fodder.”

Hange’s expression transitioned smoothly from annoyed to devious as Levi sat down on the floor beside her.

“Have you been checking out my ass, Corporal?” she asked lightly.

Levi’s right eyebrow arched upwards.

“Only because I’m concerned for the safety of your horse,” he replied dryly. “Your ass is so sharp and bony I’m afraid it’ll cut right through the saddle and lacerate the poor beast’s spine.”

Hange grinned at him.

“Aww, you’re so sweet, Levi.”

He made a soft noise of amusement as she tucked into her meal, leaving him in possession of her notebook as she ate.

“What the hell are you writing in this thing anyway?” he asked.

“My day’s findings,” replied Hange around a mouthful of food.

“Findings?” Levi repeated.

Hange nodded.

“Every expedition I write down our encounters with Titans in the book,” she explained. “How many we made contact with, their class, whether they were normal or deviant...”

“Why?” asked Levi. “They’re just Titans, what difference does it make to meticulously record every detail about them?”

Hange looked at him hard as she chewed thoughtfully and then swallowed.

“I want to see if there’s a pattern,” she replied. “They’re not all the same – they have differences that are really quite noticeable. I want to be able to look back upon my notes and see if there appear to be more of certain classes than of others, or if certain class Titans are more prone to abnormal behaviour. I record how the Titans we encounter act so that I can gain more insight into their species.”

“And that’s more important than eating?” Levi asked.

“I never said that,” replied Hange mildly. “I just need to write things down as soon as I can in case I forget an important detail. I have my priorities, that’s all.”

“Your priorities are fucked up,” muttered Levi.

Hange smiled as she finished her food, humming happily as Levi exchanged her bowl for a cup of tea which had cooled sufficiently for her to drink immediately.

“Thank you,” she murmured, wrapping her long fingers around the cup.

Levi made a small noise of acknowledgement as he wrapped his cloak around himself and handed Hange’s notebook back to her.

“Like I said, I just don’t want you passing out and getting yelled at. Shadis’s voice gives me a headache.”

She chuckled and opened her notebook again, balancing it on one knee as she rested her cup on the other. Hange looked better than she had before her meal – her face had been pale and tired but now her cheeks had regained colour and her hazel eyes were brighter.

“You still have crap in your hair,” he added, reaching up to give the chestnut mess a flick with his index finger.

“Oh?” Hange asked, surprised. “Where?”

She tilted her head forward so that her hair fell into her face, dry autumn leaves crackling softly. Hange shook her head but her locks were so tangled and matted that nothing came free. Levi rolled his eyes.

“Here, for god’s sake, let me...”

He twisted to face her, fingers quickly working through her hair to tease the tangles apart and pick out the twigs and leaves that were caught up in the knots as Hange sat still, patiently watching him work through the curtain of her hair.

It was cathartic, the repeated motion of running his fingers through the tangled strands of Hange’s hair until it was smooth again and soft in his hands, if not slightly static and frizzed. He was almost disappointed when he had to stop, letting his hands drop into his lap.

“There,” he murmured. “You look less like you’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards now.”

Hange smiled and drained her tea cup as the Scouts around them began to snuff out candles and torches, plunging the room into semi-darkness. She nudged Levi’s arm gently.

“Such a charmer.”

“Shut up,” he groused, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes.

It wasn’t the most comfortable position to attempt sleep and he shifted, wishing he’d snapped an extra blanket for his head.

“My shoulder is pretty comfy you know,” Hange murmured, starting him slightly. “I don’t mind being used as a pillow in light of you feeding me and all.”

Levi looked at her for a moment, eyes narrowed. He had to admit, Hange’s shoulder did indeed seem like the most comfortable option at that particular moment but he heisted to take her up on the offer. It wasn’t like this was a thing that happened all the time, even if they often ended up falling asleep side by side when beyond the walls.

Hange turned back to her notebook, making notes here and there, seemingly unconcerned as to whether or not Levi would take her up on her offer.

“Fine,” he eventually replied, shuffling closer to her and carefully resting his head against her shoulder.

She was surprisingly warm in the chilly autumn night air, heat radiating from her. It didn’t take long at all for him to start to relax, allowing himself to sink further onto the soft, warm, wool cloak that was wrapped around Hange’s shoulders and close his eyes. After a while, he felt her head dip and rest against his for a few seconds. Levi was too sleepy and comfortable to complain.

“G’night, Levi.”

Hange murmured.

Goodnight, he thought, unable to say it aloud before he fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wrote this chapter under the impression that the Survey Corps veterans know how to have fun and that Erwin Smith hasn't always been so serious.

** Winter 844 **

Hange had been acting peculiar all day. Not that Hange’s behaviour wasn’t always a little on the strange side, but today it was stranger than normal.

It was winter and the ground was covered in a thick layer of white snow. Levi’s experience with snow had been incredibly limited with having spent the vast majority of his life underground, and the first time he’d seen it, Levi had not expected the cold bite of the ice flakes as he’s touched it, expecting it to be soft and fluffy like a cloud instead of freezing at wet. He wasn’t at all impressed with snow and was incredibly grateful that the Survey Corps spent the worst of the winter months inside the walls, keeping their minds and bodies active by completing training missions within a few miles radius of the barracks.

When he wasn’t freezing his ass off on one of those training missions, Levi could often be found taking refuge from the other Scouts in Hange’s small bedroom-come-office, curled up on the small window seat with a book and at least one cat curled into him for warmth while Hange leafed through the stack of old volumes on her desk and made page after page of notes for hours on end. Hange didn’t speak much when she worked, except to mutter something under her breath or to ask a cat to move its butt from her research which was a perfect environment for Levi – he loved the feeling of being left alone, but not actually being alone. Hange had never once said that she minded, and it had become a daily ritual for Levi to finish up training and head straight for Hange’s room, except today she hadn’t been where he’d expected her to be.

Levi had spotted her, very briefly, running towards the kitchen just after lunch time. She had given him a very brief wave and then disappeared without a trace, leaving Levi very confused in the hallway. A little later, he’d caught a glimpse of her running across the courtyard outside, bundled up in a thick woollen cloak but he’d had no idea what she’d been up to at all. Bewildered and slightly frustrated, Levi had curled into the furthest corner of his bunk with a fat marmalade cat for company and tried to ignore the comings and goings of the other Scouts.

It was beginning to get dark when the sound of familiar footsteps caused Levi to look up from his book to find Hange standing at the foot of his bed looking freshly scrubbed and clean in civilian clothing. She grinned at him.

“Where the hell have you been all day?” Levi asked dryly. “Surely you couldn’t have spent all that time in the bath?”

“I’ve been working on something,” replied Hange with a smile. “Actually, the something had several parts to it that I had to take care of separately, but they’re all done now.”

“Well, aren’t you cryptic,” muttered Levi, turning back to his book.

Hange laughed and ducked below the bedframe, tugging gently at the sleeve of Levi’s thick winter sweater.

“Stop being such a grouch and come look.”

The fat marmalade mewed in protest as Levi moved it from his lap and set his book aside in order to follow the grinning Captain, ignoring the heads turning to watch them as they walked past the bunks and away from the communal sleeping quarters. Levi had no idea what was going on at all, wondering what new and bizarre Titan-related horror Hange had to show him and getting even more confused when she led him down the corridor towards Erwin Smith’s office, flashing him a wide grin before opening the door and ushering him inside.

Erwin and Miké were standing at the large wooden desk by the window, hastily snuffing out a taper with which they had just finished lighting a handful of thin white candles stuck into the top of a small, round honey cake.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” they said in unison as Levi stopped dead just inside the door and stared at them.

Both were dressed casually and wearing identical smiles, which was something Levi wasn’t used to at the best of times. Erwin Smith was generally pretty stoic, only cracking the smallest of smiles from time to time and they often disappeared fast. Miké Zakarius was more liberal with his smiles but this was possibly the widest grin that Levi had ever seen on him.

“I snuck into the Survey Corps records a couple of months ago,” Hange confessed gently, appearing at Levi’s right shoulder. “December 25th, right?”

Levi’s grey eyes went wide as he looked at her, playing with the sleeve of her green wool sweater and her hazel eyes begging for his approval.

“You sneaky little...” Levi shook his head slowly, his brain still struggling to process the cake sitting on the desk. “You made this? For me?”

“Well we didn’t make it for anybody else!” Hange replied with a grin, giving Levi a small nudge towards the cake.

“And If you don’t hurry up, the candle wax will melt all over the damn thing and then we can’t eat it,” added Miké, straightening up and folding his arms casually across his chest.

Levi felt quite ridiculous and he leaned over and blew out the collection of tiny orange flames to applause and cheers from his three friends, but soon enough Erwin handed him a plate containing a large slice of sweet, sticky honey cake and Levi forgot all about the embarrassment as he bit into it.

“Shit,” he murmured. “I had absolutely no idea you could bake, Hange.”

“Well, Erwin supervised,” she replied hastily, licking honey from her fingers. “And it’s Miké’s mother’s recipe, so I can’t really take much credit.”

“Shut up, Hange! You did the majority of the work and it turned out great,” Miké mumbled, finishing up his slice of cake before turning to Levi. “You do like it, right?”

Levi nodded slowly. The honey cake was possibly one of the most decadent foods he’d ever had in his mouth. Living underground, even when they’d had money, it was hard to come by decent ingredients and he’d never before eaten a birthday cake. Levi definitely knew now why Isabel had loved those sweets Hange had given her all those months ago.

“I think the only thing that could possibly make it better would be a cup of black tea,” Levi confessed.

“Ah, that reminds me...” said Erwin, putting his plate down on the desk before reaching into the drawer and pulling out a tiny black tin.

Levi halted in his tracks, the last morsel of his cake slice half way to his mouth.

“We all pooled in our money to get it for you,” Miké murmured from his place by the wall.

“And there’s only maybe a enough tea in there for a couple of cups, but I remember you telling me how much you liked it and...”

Hange trailed off as Levi continued to stare at her. Never in a hundred years had Levi ever expected anybody in this whole tiny world to go through such lengths for him as Hange had. He wondered what he could possibly have done right in his life to deserve a friend like her, like all three of them. He hurriedly swallowed his cake and took then tin from Erwin’s hands, fingers still sticky with honey as he popped the lid and breathed in the strong scent of the dried black leaves inside.

“Thank you,” Levi whispered, the words hanging heavy in the air between them all.

He carefully closed the lid of the tin again, missing the look that passed between Erwin, Miké and Hange as he did so.

“Come on,” Erwin said eventually, covering the remaining cake on his desk with a cloth to keep it moist. “We’re taking you out.”

“Yes!” enthused Hange. “Birthday drinks are a tradition around here.”

Levi raised an eyebrow sharply.

“Why do I have the feeling this will end in mayhem?” he asked.

Hange, already halfway to the door, turned and blinked innocently at him

“I have no idea what you mean!” she sweetly replied.

****

The snow was several inches thick, covering Levi’s boots to halfway up his calves. His nose was red, his toes were chilled and he was shivering inside his woollen greatcoat, trudging through the deceptively cold, powdery white snow as Hange and Miké weaved arm in arm down the street ahead of him with Erwin chuckling to his right.

They were several bottles of vine down and even though the alcohol was doing a good job as keeping him from freezing to death, Levi couldn’t wait to thaw out in front of a fire at the barracks.

“Okay, but fuck Nile Dawk!” Hange was saying loudly.

“What? Literally?” replied Miké with a snort. “Hange, I thought you had better taste!”

She made a disgusted sound and shoved Miké sideways into a rain barrel, which tipped sideways into a drain pipe and sent a sheet of snow sliding from the roof onto Miké’s head. Hange cackled.

“You should know better, Miké!” said Erwin from Levi’s side.

It was amazing what a few glasses of vine could do for the usually straight-laced Section Commander – his fair skin was flushed a pale pink across his cheeks, blue eyes bright and a smile that stayed on his face. Even his laugh came freer than normal. It was almost like Levi was walking with a completely different person.

Hange was practically doubled over with laughter, loud in the quiet streets and echoing off the close buildings.

“Calm down, Four Eyes,” he said with amusement. “You’ll have the Military Police down on us if you don’t stop making so much noise.”

“Fuck the Military Police!” replied Hange with conviction.

“I tried that once,” Erwin said thoughtfully. “Just as terrible between the sheets as on the streets.”

Levi stared at him as Miké and Hange erupted into fresh fits of laughter. For some reason, it had never occurred to him that somebody like Erwin Smith would be remotely interested in fucking anybody, but then again, Levi had spent all evening watching the man turn from being quiet and rigid into an altogether new and charming man with a ready smile and a quick wit that blossomed with every glass of vine.

Hange gasped for breath, almost on her knees and clutching her stomach from laughing so hard.

“Oh my god! Miké, should be appalled at your taste!” she wheezed.

“What on Earth possessed you?” asked Miké.

Beside Levi, Erwin shrugged.

“Ah, you do what you must for the good of humanity.”

That was the last straw for Hange – her legs gave way and she collapsed into the snow, gasping for breath as tears of mirth streamed down her face. Even Levi could feel his lips curving up into a disbelieving smile. His new friends were definitely all crazy.

Miké straightened up and shook powdery snow from his straw-blond hair like an enormous dog, his nose now a bright, shiny red.

“Think fast, Erwin!” he yelled, scooping up handful of loose snow and hurling it in Erwin’s direction.

Section Commander Smith ducked just in time. Levi unfortunately was not as lucky, and got a mouthful of freezing white powder.

“Fuck...”

“OH HO, ZAKARIUS YOU FUCKED UP BIG TIME!” Hange whooped gleefully.

Levi’s teeth were on edge, cold sharp pain ripping through his teeth as he reluctantly unwound his arms from around his body as he carefully wiped snow from his face and picked it from his hair. The wet chill as stray flakes worked their way under his coat collar and onto his skin sent a shiver down Levi’s spine. He hated it – hated the snow, hated the cold, and he was going to have his revenge.

All hell broke loose of the streets as the four officers of the Survey Corps dived to different corners, using buildings and barrels as cover as the air filled with rapid fire of snowballs, hurled in every direction. Levi was learning fast, his fingers numb as he compacted the freezing snow into round balls and threw them, darting from one building to another as he swerved to avoid retaliatory snowballs coming his way.

It was exciting, exhilarating, his heart beating fast and his breath coming in short, sharp bursts from his chest as he slowly became used to the numbness in his fingers and toes and focussed entirely on the fight. It was almost like being back in the Underground City and running from the MPs. Levi found that even without the OMD gear, he could still use his skills.

The air was filled with yells and laughter and jovial insults as well as well-aimed flying snow, and Levi couldn’t ever remember having fun like this in his entire life. Back flattened against the stone wall of a house, he narrowly missed a snowy missile thrown from Erwin’s direction when he heard the whistles.

All projectiles ceased immediately.

“Shit!” Miké yelled, scrambling out from behind a rain barrel and sending icy water cascading all over the trampled snow, churning it all together with his big feet. “It’s the MP’s!”

Hange’s head appeared from behind a cart just meters away from Levi and she looked around her wildly as she darted towards him.

“RUN!” shouted Erwin with all the authority that Levi was used to – the tone of the very capable Section Commander that had everyone running for their lives.

Levi kept pace with Hange, his knees burning as his legs had to work harder to get through the several inches of snow. He didn’t ever think he’d be running from the MPs ever again, especially not when he was alongside the Survey Corps’ best soldiers, being chased towards their barracks in the middle of the night on his birthday.

“Most elite soldiers, my ass!” Hange yelled over her shoulder, causing Miké to roar with laughter.

Levi didn’t realise until they skidded to a halt in front of the barracks, gasping for breath with pink cheeks and bright eyes, that he’d been holding onto Hange’s hand the entire time.

****

They all fell through the doors to Erwin’s bedroom, still laughing as they stripped off their wet coats, exposed skin already starting to prickle with the drastic temperature change from the outside snow to the warm room with a fire crackling in the hearth.

Zoë Hange hadn’t laughed this much in a very long time, her muscles aching as she hung her coat over a nearby chair and leaned heavily against the wall to pull off her boots, watching with amusement as Miké stripped off down to his underwear in seconds and collapsed with a satisfied sigh onto Erwin’s bed, leaving a trail of wet clothes on the floor. They were all practically soaked to the skin, the snow having found its way through their coats to seep through their sweaters and down the tops of their boots. Hange’s toes and fingers burned painfully as she flexed them, but her body still buzzed from the alcohol she’d drank that night.

“I thought we were goners for a second there,” laughed Erwin, gingerly toeing off his boots as he unbuttoned his sodden shirt.

“Really? You didn’t think we could outrun the Military Police? Us?” answered Levi, one thin eyebrow arched perfectly and teeth chattering.

His black hair was stuck to his head, melting droplets of snow running down the back of his neck and his pale skin pink with cold. Levi was trembling from the cold, still wearing most of his wet clothes and trying to get warm by the fire.

Erwin snorted and fell sideways against the wall, getting his elbow caught in the sleeve of his shirt and making Miké laugh again.

“No, you’re right...they’re useless.”

“They’re supposed to be made up of the top graduating students of each cadet class,” Miké droned, rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands. “I am so fucking glad I didn’t going those morons.”

“Me too,” murmured Erwin, now down to his underwear too and crawling onto the bed next to Miké.

“Me three!” Hange joined in cheerfully, peeling her sodden trousers over the damp, cold skin of her thighs and kicking them in the general direction of the fire.

They made contact with Levi’s bare feet and she giggled as he stared at her, still shivering.

“Oops! Sorry, Levi!”

He blinked at her as she began to strip her sweater over her head. Thankfully, her vest underneath was still dry so she didn’t have to take that off too, not that she really cared anyway – it wasn’t as though she had anything underneath it to stare at. She tossed her sweater haphazardly at the hearth and stumbled over to join her friends on the bed, her head beginning to swim again as the heat stirred up the alcohol in her system. Hange collapsed in the space between Erwin and Hange and was rewarded with an affectionate sniff from Miké as Erwin carefully removed her askew glasses from their precarious perch on the end of her nose.

“Are you gonna stand there all night and catch a chill in those wet clothes, Levi?” she asked, raising her head slightly to look at the slightly fuzzy-outlined Levi, still shivering by the fire.

“It’s not like I have anything else to wear,” grumbled Levi in response.

“Body heat, my friend!” Miké replied cheerfully. “Come over here and we’ll warm you up!”

Hange slapped his arm playfully as Erwin sat up next to her.

“If you want, you can wear one of my spare shirts – top drawer,” he said.

For reasons unknown to Zoë Hange’s alcohol addled brain she followed Levi’s every movement, watching him as he slowly took out a clean shirt and began stripping out of his clothes. She knew she shouldn’t really be looking but somehow couldn’t tear her eyes away from the lean, defined body that came into view as the damp sweater and pants were peeled away to reveal pale skin still tinged with the pink of cold. She was fascinated by it – the way that Levi with his clothes on looked tiny, almost skinny, but without them she could see his muscled definition rivalled Miké and Erwin.

Erwin gathered up all the blankets within reach as Levi finally slipped on the borrowed shirt and fastened it up with numb fingers and padded cautiously towards the bed, cheeks flushed, strands of damp hair falling in his eyes and looking positively adorable in a shirt that fell to his knees with cuffs that covered his hands. Hange had a shirt just like it.

“Come on,” she murmured encouragingly, holding out her hand to him. “It’s warmer in the bed with us. You’ll stop shivering in no time.”

Levi frowned at her, but decided she was right and crossed the rest of the floor quickly, putting a knee on the mattress in order to climb in next to her. Hange and Miké reached for him at the exact same time, causing Levi to topple forward onto the bed to land on Hange, face first onto her chest.

“Well, that’s one way to do it!” she laughed, legs tangled with Levi’s as Miké chuckled and patted his back comfortingly.

Levi froze as Hange wrapped an arm around him.

“Do you wanna move?” she asked softly as Erwin began wrapping the four of them up in blankets.

“I’m good here...”muttered Levi, his voice muffled by the fabric of her vest.

It warmed up pretty fast and soon Levi’s shivering had completely stopped. Miké was wrapped around them on the right, his nose buried in Hange’s hair, and Erwin was snuggled into them both on the left with Levi taking up the smallest amount of space between Hange and Miké. She grinned at him, the way he curled into her like a cat, practically nuzzling into her breasts.

Hange had never really had an opinion about her own breasts – there had never been much there to look at and as the likelihood of them ever being used for their original purpose was very slim, they were mostly a nuisance and found themselves strapped down for the most part so she didn’t have to deal with them. However, at this moment in time, with the way that Levi was snuggling contentedly into them, Hange was impressed that they were making pretty decent pillows.

“Ah, my beautiful boys,” she murmured happily, scratching through the short, velvety hair of Levi’s undercut before threading her fingers gently through the longer strands on top. “I hope things never change.”

“What do you mean?” Erwin mumbled, shifting slightly closer.

“You know what I mean,” she replied. “I hope things never change. I hope we’ll always get to do this, you know?”

“We won’t if Erwin ever becomes Commander,” Miké muttered into Hange’s hair.

“Don’t ever become Commander, Erwin,” Hange insisted firmly. “I don’t want you to become permanently boring. It’s fun when you’re like this.”

Erwin chuckled and pressed a small kiss to her cheek.

“Can’t promise anything,” he replied quietly, wrapping an arm around her stomach and Levi’s side.

“Boo,” she whispered.

The future wasn’t something that the Scouts of the Survey Corps often thought about. The truth was, when your job was to put your life at risk every single day, the likelihood of a future beyond the next mission was pretty slim for all of them, but right then, at that moment, Hange just wished they could stay wrapped up together, safe and warm for the rest of their days.

****

Levi's entire body buzzed gently with the effects of the vine he'd been drinking and he felt incredibly relaxed with the heat of three bodies and two blankets seeping into his skin and spreading through his limbs. He knew that he'd never have done this if he'd been perfectly sober, but this actually seemed like the perfect way to end his birthday. It felt wonderful to have friends again, and his heart glowed at the thought of honey cake and black tea that waited for him as breakfast in the morning.

He closed his eyes lightly, trying not to make a sound as Hange's nails gently scratched through his hair. God, but he loved that...perhaps a little too much as it was taking most of his willpower not to groan. Levi turned his face and buried it into the warm fabric of Hange's top, feeling the small breast underneath move easily. It had not at all been Levi's intention to end up here, but Hange didn't seem to mind in the slightest and Levi had never had a better pillow - so warm and soft and squishy and absolutely perfect.

Levi had the feeling that he'd be a little embarrassed about it in the morning, but right now he was warm and comfortable, and surrounded by people who liked him despite all of his personality flaws. It was possibly the best birthday he'd ever had.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

** Spring, 845 **

 

It was a solemn procession that entered the interior of Wall Maria from Shiganshina district. Over one hundred Scouts had been seriously injured or killed in the last mission to the Outside World and what was left of the corps made their way slowly and silently down the road back to their headquarters. It had been one of the worst assaults Hange had ever lived through, and most especially the worst since Erwin’s long-range scouting formation had been implemented.

It was the rain.

The valleys and plains of the terrain trapped mist and churned up mud, the trees held onto it like a gently caressing lover and the Scouts had to ride close together so they could see each other. There had been Titans everywhere, looming out of the mist like giant grinning sea creatures of myth and legend, hands grabbing at bodies and swatting away horses like they were insects.

They’d had to retreat to the treetops, as high and far away as they could get from those fingers, but not before over half their forces had been eaten, their screams permeating the fog and chilling the bones of the survivors more than the freezing rain that beat down on them.

Now, whoever was left had piled into carts or were limping down the dirt road or sharing horses wherever they could, beaten, bloody, demoralised and just desperate to get home. If things weren’t already bad, Commander Shadis had then publically broken down in the streets of Shiganshina, calling their mission useless and that they had achieved nothing for the amount of lives lost. Now he rode at the head of the column, head bowed in defeat and nothing at all like the tough, firey-tempered Commander that Hange had known for the last eight years.

“He had no right to lose it like that,” Levi muttered, his grey eyes boring holes into the back of Shadis’s head. They were sharing a horse, Levi sitting in front on her in the saddle. “He’s the Commander, he’s not supposed to break. He made us look weak in front of the civilians, he’s probably ruined our chances of renewed funding by yelling our incompetence to the whole world. He’s supposed to be strong.”

“Everybody has their breaking point, Levi,” Hange murmured into his hair.

The corporal made a small, indistinguishable noise and fell silent. Hange looked towards Erwin and Mike, riding on their right. Even they looked as beaten down and bloody as the rest of them, and Erwin’s eyes seemed dead as he fixed them on the road ahead. She wondered what he was thinking, and if it was anything like what was playing on her mind at that moment.

They were all relieved to get back, aching bodies sliding from horseback and clambering out of carts to limp towards the infirmary or their beds. Shadis didn’t say a word to a single soul as he handed off his horse to the stable hands and made his way directly towards his office, leaving Erwin automatically in charge. She groaned as she dropped to the ground next to Levi and stretched, her spine popping and cracking loudly.

“The first thing I want to do,” she announced, rubbing her lower back with her fingertips, “is fill a nice hot bath and soak in it for at least an hour.”

Levi shot her a look, thin eyebrows arched high.

“Are you feeling okay, Four Eyes?”

“Of course I am, all things considered,” she replied. “Why do you ask?”

“Probably because I’ve never heard you voice your desire for voluntary bathing before,” drawled Levi as he unstrapped the saddle bags and threw them over his shoulders.

Despite feeling like hammered shit, Hange grinned at him.

“Well, these are exceptional circumstances,” she said, giving him a gentle shove. “And then after I’ve had my bath, I’m going to drink a gallon of chamomile tea and sleep for a week!”

Levi opened his mouth to reply but suddenly stopped, his expression shifting from mildly amused to significantly concerned.

“Do you hear that?”

Hange stood still and trained her ears, catching just the barest sound of warning bells in the distance, and a closer sound of hooves.

“What the hell...?”

At that moment, a terrified Garrison soldier on horseback burst into the courtyard, sending gathered Scouts scattering as he looked wildly about him.

“Wall Maria has been breached!” he cried. “The Titans are in!”

If it had been anywhere but the Survey Corps headquarters, the result would have been chaos. As it was, the Scouts in the courtyard only glanced at each other with blank expressions before launching into action under Erwin’s direction.

“Third squad - we need the carts back out and as many fresh horses ready to move in fifteen minutes as we possibly can. Everybody in first squad who can stand needs to help bring the wounded back outside and get them onto carts. There’s no time to pack up properly so squad two needs to gather as many provisions as you can get your hands on and load up the carts. Fourth squad are on gas tanks and blades. Squad leaders to me.”

Erwin Smith knew what he was doing, that was for sure – calm and level-headed as always in a crisis, not giving anyone a chance to give in to panic and making sure everyone had a task to carry out within seconds. Still, Hange could scarcely believe the news. Titans had broken through the walls for the first time since mankind had retreated behind them and her mind was racing to come up with a theory of how it could possibly have happened. She glanced towards the Garrison soldier, still bewildered and terrified in the middle of the courtyard as he reluctantly made her way to Erwin. Hange just had so many questions that needed to be answered.

“Alright,” Erwin murmured as the Survey Corps officers gathered around him. “For now, let’s not concern ourselves with the how or why – that’ll become clear soon enough. Our main concern here is the evacuation of our wounded. We suffered a serious hit and we’re in no condition to stand our ground against the Titan incursion. I want to save as many lives as we can.”

“What about civilian lives, sir?” Levi asked quietly. “Should our priority not be to save as many of them as we can?”

Erwin looked at him, expression unreadable.

“I have to believe that the Garrison soldiers have civilian evacuation under control,” he replied. “They have more people than we do, especially right now, so I have to trust that they can take care of this.”

On Hange’s left, Mike snorted derisively.

“No offence Erwin, but Garrison don’t know their asses from their elbows. They’ve spent their entire careers as freeloaders getting fat and drunk and they are in no way prepared to deal with the things we deal with every day. I’m with Levi – we need to send some people to help. Even ten Scouts would be better than a hundred Garrison soldiers. At least we know what we’re doing.”

Erwin looked from Mike to Levi and back again before giving a short nod.

“Alright,” he agreed. “Mike and Levi will pick ten of the best Scouts still able to fight and go help the Garrison. Focus on evacuation of civilians, not the titans themselves. If you get overrun and killed then I’ll have lost twelve of my best to pointless deaths.”

“Permission to go with them, Erwin?” asked Hange, practically bouncing on her toes with excitement as Mike and Levi took off at top speed to pick their squad.

“Permission denied,” Erwin replied. “I need you to stay with me and help evacuate everyone else.”

Hange was scandalised.

“Erwin! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me,” she protested. “This is the first time in over a hundred years that the Titans have breached the walls! I need to go, I need to see it. I need to understand how and why. Did an intelligent group of them find a weakness? Did they manage to climb? Has a new kind of Titan emerged that we’ve never encountered before and if so, how did we not see it on our way back to Shiganshina district? It’s been less than three hours since we returned – how have so many Titans managed to overrun the district and break through to the interior, when we barely passed any on our return journey?”

Hange’s mind was boiling over with questions, but Erwin was not about to let up.

“I’m sorry Hange,” he replied. “I’m sure we’ll find those answers in the next few days, but right now I need you to concentrate on the task I’ve given you. This is more important.”

“But Erwin...”

“Hange,” he said firmly, cutting her off. “I need you here.”

It was an order, given quietly and calmly but with no less authority. Hange hated it.

“Yes, sir,” she replied through gritted teeth, turning on her heel and walking away, fists balled tightly at her sides.

All the things she could have learned if only Erwin had let her go, all that knowledge lost. Hange was furious, but knew she had no choice but to follow the instructions given to her. She only hoped that Levi or Mike would remember to bring her back some tit-bit of information...providing they made it back at all.

****

The situation was nothing short of nightmarish and Levi was almost at breaking point emotionally. From the moment they had met up with the Garrison regiment, he’d had to accept that there was no saving everybody – some districts were too far away to reach before the Titans did, some districts were already overrun. More Titans were swarming through the Wall Maria breach by the minute and the executive decision had been made to abandon the villages within six miles of the breach in favour of evacuating as many souls as possible between their current position and Wall Rose. It didn’t mean that Levi had to like it.

He wasn’t good at making life or death decisions, at deciding whose lives were worth saving. Every loss made Levi feel sick to his stomach and he was almost glad that he wouldn’t have the opportunity to sleep for a couple of days because his dreams would only be haunted by thoughts of those that they left to the Titans. Entire families would be wiped out, small children and babies screaming in pain and terror while those grinning giants ripped them apart and fed on their flesh. More than once, Levi almost disobeyed his orders and turned to help those left behind, but deep down he knew it was hopeless and that knowledge was the only thing that kept him going forward.

The only good thing, if abandoning people to being eaten could ever be a good thing, was that it gave the Titans plenty to keep them occupied. Aside from the odd abnormal, they all seemed to be taking their time and allowing the soldiers to evacuate as many as they could. Levi, Mike, and their squad used their gas sparingly, only taking down Titans that were a major threat to the retreating populace and always staying at the rear. It took almost two whole days to clear the way to Wall Rose, but even then Levi knew that there would have been some villages they had overlooked, that other Garrison squads will have missed throughout the whole of the interior of Maria. He didn’t even want to think of how many civilian lives had been lost.

“Hey Levi?” Mike hailed him, wearing a tired smirk.

Levi and Mike hadn’t had the best of starts he had to admit, but over the past year Levi had come to think of Mike as one of his closest friends. Not as close as Hange obviously – nobody in the world seemed to get him the way Hange did, but still, Mike was a dependable friend and a first class soldier.

“What?” Levi asked.

“Over the past couple of days, I’ve managed to put down twenty three abnormal. That’s pretty impressive don’t you think?”

Levi frowned, knowing exactly what Mike was trying to do.

“I guess so,” he deadpanned, fixing his eyes on the road ahead.

“What about you?” Mike asked, conversationally. “How many do you think you’ve put down?”

“You know our orders were to concentrate on evacuation of the civilians, not killing the titans, right?” replied Levi tightly.

“So...less than twenty three?”

Levi’s jaw clenched slightly at Mike’s jovial tone. It had become a competition of sorts for them over the past year to keep a tally of the amount of Titans slain during a mission. The loser bought the vine for the night. Sometimes there was a clear winner, sometimes they were equal – it was only to be expected from the two best Scouts in the regiment.

This time however, Levi was falling behind.

“I’ll catch up,” he muttered.

They both knew that nobody would be buying the vine this time once they got to Trost.

****

Hange’s anger over not being allowed to accompany Levi and Mike’s squad had dissipated fast as soon as the remnants of the Survey Corps had reached Trost district. She was still upset that she’d missed a golden opportunity for seeking knowledge, but somehow that seemed to pale in comparison to the sheer amount of refugees swarming into the district with them. The number just kept growing and growing with each passing hour until it seemed like the entire population of Wall Maria had to be crammed into Trost, but there was still no sign of Levi and Mike or their squad.

They had evacuated quickly, far too fast to even think of what to salvage from their own belongings. Hange had lost so many books, so many papers and notes, having only managed to stuff a clean set of clothes and an oversized shirt that may once have been Erwin’s into her saddle bag. The only Titan research she had managed to salvage had been the notebook she carried about with her on missions, and too much had happened since they had returned for Hange to accurately record the Titan activity for the last mission. The whole world had turned upside down in a matter of hours.

The Scouts had been put up in Trost’s Garrison HQ, the wounded taking up many of the beds and everyone else finding a place on the floor lining the corridors to sleep. Unable to rest due to worry and unable to study due to lack of reading materials, Hange found herself at the bedside of Moblit Berner, a seventeen year old kid from fourth squad who had suffered a fractured clavicle and several cracked ribs from an encounter with a Titan on the mission three days before.

“How are you feeling?” Hange asked gently, crouching down next to the bed due to the lack of chairs.

Moblit used his functional arm to push himself up into a sitting position and gave her a weak smile.

“I’m alright, thank you Captain,” he replied. “I feel a bit useless though just lying around in this bed.”

Hange chuckled.

“Don’t be silly,” she chided. “You saved the lives of three new recruits – you can lay there all you like.”

Moblit grimaced and looked at his knees.

“I almost got eaten myself, Captain. If it hadn’t been for you...”

Hange waved the comment away. It had been heavy rain, mist curling through the trees and drastically reducing visibility. Moblit had dropped from a tree, killing a Titan that had cornered three green Scouts on the ground, but as they made their escape Moblit had been snatched up by another and was already in its mouth when Hange had taken it down. The kid had still been stabbing it in the face as he’d gone down, fracturing his collarbone and ribs on the fall. Hange might have been the one who prevented Moblit from being eaten, but she’d also been the one to cause his current injuries.

“Just rest up,” she told him, gently ruffling his light brown hair as she stood and headed back out.

It was getting dark and Hange was beyond worried about her boys now. She’d lost too many friends early on in her military career and the thought of losing more now was almost too much to bear, especially with nothing else around to distract her. Hange ran her hands through the unbound section of her hair and sighed heavily, about to seek out Erwin when she heard it – the signalling bell.

She sprinted through the corridors of the building, tripping over sleeping bodies and abandoned equipment in her hurry to get to the courtyard. The peal of the bell was distinct - not the quick succession single peals of warning that had been heard echoing from beyond wall Rose for the past two days, but the familiar, slower double peal that accompanied the Survey Corps whenever they returned from a mission – the signal to close the gate. The last of the refugees must have arrived, with the rear guard of Garrison...and Levi and Mike’s squad.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she waited, minute after agonising minute ticking by as she stood in the courtyard, nervously plucking at the cuff of her jacket as the sound of tired hooves got closer and closer. Suddenly she saw them, riding side by side, Levi’s head barely reaching the height of Mike’s shoulder as they rode, heads bowed, into the courtyard. Hange couldn’t even try to conceal her squeal of joy and relief as she fought through many rose-bloom jackets to get them.

“WHERE IN THE HELL HAVE YOU BOTH BEEN?” she cried, practically snatching Levi up off his feet the second he dismounted, propelling them both into the solid mass of Mike. “I THOUGHT YOU’D BOTH BEEN EATEN!”

Both men froze for a second, then she felt them relax. She almost had Levi in a headlock, but his head sank against her shoulder as he patted her back awkwardly and Mike gathered them both tightly in his strong arms.

“We missed you too, Shitty Glasses,” Levi mumbled, voice muffled against her jacket.

Promptly, Hange burst into tears.

“You can’t get rid of us that easy, Hange,” Mike murmured into her hair as she clung to them both, her tears of relief soaking through Mike’s shirt.

He didn’t seem to mind.

“Besides,” Levi added, “If I got killed there’d be nobody left to make you take a bath. I’m humanity’s only hope.”

Mike snorted with amusement and Hange grinned through her tears, finally easing her grip on them both.

“Don’t ever run off without me again, okay?” she sniffed.

“Understood,” replied Mike with a grin. But right now, I need food, sleep, and a bath in that order.”

Hange chuckled, swiping tears from her eyes behind her glasses as Mike casually slung his arm around her shoulder and began steering them towards the building, Levi’s arm brushing against Hange’s as they walked.

“Food is pretty rationed right now,” she admitted. “But I’m sure we can find you something.”

“Great,” Levi droned, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Just leave it next to my unconscious body and I’ll eat it when my corpse reanimates.”

Hange had thought Levi was joking but twenty minutes later, when Mike had taken a bread roll and a slab of cheese and had gone to find Erwin, she found Levi passed out under his cloak in the corridor leading to the kitchens. He hadn’t even washed up first.

Levi looked exhausted, dust and old mud still clinging to his skin and hair, and his brow knitted tightly as he slept. Sliding down the wall next to him, Hange placed the plate with bread and cheese on the floor and crossed her legs, hauling the unconscious Levi so that his head rested in her lap. He only stirred when she started to run her fingers through his hair, gently separating the tangled and matted strands.

“You said you were going to get a bath two days ago,” he mumbled sleepily.

“I’ll get one later,” Hange murmured in reply, her fingernails gently scratching against the short hair of Levi’s undercut.

He made a soft noise and shifted in her lap before passing out again, his hand softly resting on her thigh.

Hange sighed, feeling suddenly tired herself as her head bumped gently against the wall behind her. She’d spent the last two days running on nervous energy, waiting for her friends to come home. Now they were safely back, her energy was flagging. They had managed to get as many civilians safely behind the walls of Rose as they had possibly could, and now they all had to deal with the aftermath.

Nothing was ever going to be the same again for any of them.


	6. Chapter 6

** Summer, 845 **

 

It was early morning, the sun already filtering in through the curtains and the sound of chirping birds floating in through the open windows, and Levi was doing his best to ignore it all. It was already too hot and too bright, the still, humid air having disturbed his entire night’s sleep and the early summer morning threatening to disrupt any ideas of lying in that he might have had.

He wasn’t even that surprised to hear the latch of his door click, and the hinges squeak gently as it was pushed open by somebody. Levi was still getting used to the fact that he had his own room now, after a whole year of sleeping in the barracks with other non-commissioned officers of the Survey Corps. After the fall of Wall Maria, Levi had been promoted from a Corporal to a Lieutenant, and with commission came the perks of private quarters. Over the past few weeks that he’d been living in it, only one person ever actually came in.

He heard the soft steps of bare feet padding across the cold stone floor towards his bed, felt the wisp of cool breeze as the corner of his blanket lifted and the dip of the mattress as a body gently slid in next to his, bare legs brushing against his own.

“Levi? Are you awake?” Hange whispered.

Levi had been facing the wall, an arm slung over his eyes to shield them from the sunlight. He sighed loudly as he lowered his arm and turned his head to face her, curled up next to him with her head on his pillow and her hands tucked underneath her chin.

“No Hange,” he replied, dryly. “It’s the middle of summer and there are fucking starlings having some kind of domestic argument outside my window. I’m honestly still completely asleep.”

She didn’t even smile, her normally playful hazel eyes seemingly dull. Levi frowned immediately because Hange always laughed at his sarcasm. This was unusual behaviour and he didn’t like it one bit.

“What’s the matter?” he asked.

“Did you hear the news?” Hange replied quietly.

“No,” Levi told her, trying hard to keep his sarcasm in check. “I’ve been in bed since last night. I’ve heard nothing. What’s happened?”

Hange looked like she was about to cry.

“Commander-in-Chief Zackley appointed Erwin as Commander of the Survey Corps just after midnight,” she said in a weak voice.

Levi blinked at her. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Hange this upset before in his whole life. He’d seen her angry, of course – he’d seen Hange raging like a tempest and leaving nothing but chaos in her wake, but he’d never seen her so sad that she was on the verge of tears. Levi had absolutely no idea what to do.

“You’re surprised?” he asked eventually.

Hange shook her head, curling herself into an even tighter ball.

“No,” she admitted. “If I’m honest, I’ve been waiting for it ever since Shadis resigned. Erwin is the most obvious choice – this is what he’s been aiming for since he joined the Survey Corps and Zackley would have been an idiot not to. It’s just that...”

Hange’s voice trailed off as she wiped a hand across her eyes. Levi’s mind suddenly went back to his birthday in the winter where the four of them had ended up drunk and snuggled in bed together. Hange had told Erwin never to become Commander because she didn’t want him to become boring, or at least that was the reason she’d used. At the time, Levi’s vine-addled brain hadn’t realised what she’d really been trying to say, but now it was clear – if Erwin became the Commander of the Scouts, he would no longer be Hange’s friend above everything else. All the post-mission drinks , the singing in the streets in the middle of the night, the times were they all just collapsed, happy and drunk in a pile on the same bed were over.

Levi didn’t really know what to do. It’s not as though he could tell Hange that everything would be okay, because she was essentially losing one of her best friends. Life had already changed so drastically in the past few weeks and everything was continuing to spiral out of control. He had only been with them a year, but already Levi had begun to rely heavily on the camaraderie they all had and the antics they got up to post-mission. Levi was going to miss it, so he could only imagine how Hange was feeling.

She sniffed loudly, a large fat tear rolling down her cheek.

“You’re getting snot all over my pillow,” he said gently.

This time, Hange laughed. It was more of a hiccup than an actual laugh, but at least she smiled and wiped the back of her hand across her eyes before shifting and shuffling further down the bed, curling up under his arm and into his side so she could rest her head on Levi’s bare chest. Unsure of the protocol in situations like this Levi lay completely still, ignoring the tickle of Hange’s fingers against his side and she stretched her arm out across his body. At least she’d washed her hair recently – Levi could still smell the faint scent of rosemary.

“Now you’ll get snot all over me,” he muttered.

This time, Hange actually giggled, snuggling into him a little more. Levi tentatively placed his hand on her shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting manner. He really had never been any good at this kind of thing.

“I’ll be okay,” Hange murmured.

“I know,” replied Levi quietly.

Hange may have worn her emotions very close to the surface, but underneath she was probably the toughest one of them all. He had absolutely no doubt in her mind that she would be okay in the end, no matter how upset she was at that moment.

****

Levi had been waiting nervously outside of Erwin’s office, sometimes pacing back and forth in front of the door, and sometimes leaning heavily against the wall, tapping his foot against the brick. They had all been in there for quite some time and Levi couldn’t figure out exactly what would have been going on behind those closed doors.

He had been reading by the window in Hange’s room when she had been called to the meeting, a young Scout informing her that Erwin wanted to talk to all of his squad leaders at the same time. Hange had been annoyed to have to leave her research, as she had only just begun to piece together some of the work that she’d had to abandon back in Maria, but even she couldn’t disobey a direct order. Levi had followed her, more out of curiosity than anything else.

The last expedition beyond the walls had decimated the Survey Corps. Half of their soldiers had been killed, including most of the Section Commanders besides Mike Zacharias. Levi knew that Erwin would have to promote some of his Captains to the position, and he would have been a fool not to include Hange in his selection. She was competent and level-headed, she thought well and fast on her feet and could easily adapt to the situation. Her zeal for Titans aside, Hange was possibly one of the best natural leaders Levi had ever encountered.

He was lost in thought about it when the doors to Erwin’s office opened and the officers began to file out, Hange trailing behind them, staring at the ground and looking pale.

“What the hell happened to you?” he asked, pushing himself up off the wall and trailing behind her as she took off down the corridor.

“He promoted me,” Hange replied, sounding shocked.

“Congratulations.”

“No, Levi,” she said, twisting her head around to look at him. “You don’t understand – I am absolutely not Section Commander material!”

Levi frowned at her.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

Hange sighed, pushing both of her hands through her hair as she started to descend the stone stairs.

“I’m not the right person for the job, Levi!” she replied. “I’m not a Section Commander, I’m a scientist! I don’t know how to be in charge of a several squads in one go! I’m no good with that kind of paperwork! I just want to study Titans – that’s all I really know how to do...kill Titans and research Titans. My entire existence is Titan-based! How can I be responsible for that many lives when I’m thinking about what might be rolling around in a Titan’s great big belly?”

Levi followed her, two steps behind as Hange walked down the staircase. She was talking with her hands again, the way she did when something was bothering her and she couldn’t figure it out. The trouble with Zoe Hange was that she just couldn’t see how brilliant she really was. She’d already proven that she could do the job – that she could be responsible for others, that she could make sacrifices where they were needed and that she could take care of her subordinates. Erwin knew it, and Levi knew it – somehow they just had to make Hange understand.

“I mean, I just...”

Hange’s voice cut off as Levi put his hand on her shoulder and spun her around as she hit the bottom step. He could almost have laughed at the look on her face – mouth open in surprise, eyes wide behind her glasses as Levi’s nose bumped against her own, lips brushing for exactly half a second. Standing a step above her, Levi was almost exactly the same height.

Levi steadied her with a hand on each of her shoulders as he stood up straight, increasing the distance between them to a more comfortable level.

“Four Eyes,” he said firmly. “You’ll do fine. I’m pretty sure that you can balance out you’re fucking crazy Titan shit with being a Section Commander, okay? You’re not entirely shitty at this kind of thing.”

Hange stared at him for a second and then her shoulders slumped, her lungs expelling all the air that she’d been holding in as she nodded slowly.

“Okay,” she muttered.

“Okay,” Levi repeated, letting his hands finally drop from her shoulders. “Now, come with me. I’ve got something that might just cheer your miserable face up.”

He brushed past her as he jumped off the last step and walked quickly down the corridor with Hange trailing behind him like a lost puppy, trying his hardest to ignore the fact that he might have accidentally kissed her and failing miserably.

****

Hange’s head was reeling as she followed Levi down the corridor to the cupboard that served as his bedroom. So much had happened and so much had changed within the last couple of weeks that she could barely make any sense of it – first Wall Maria had been breached and the entire populace evacuated behind Wall Rose, then Commander Shadis had resigned, the Scouts had moved into a temporary HQ in the interior of Rose that was too far away to serve any real purpose, then Erwin had been promoted to Commander and now he had gone and made Hange of all people Section Commander.

The worst part of the whole ordeal was that she might have been able to cope with it a lot easier had she not lost the vast majority of her Titan research and books in the hurried evacuation. Without them, her mind was too full and her thoughts disorganised. Hange needed the safe haven of her notes and her theories so she didn’t feel as though she were going mad – for a moment back there Hange had even thought Levi had kissed her, just for a brief second. There wasn’t any way she would have made such a mistake if she didn’t have so much running through it.

Sighing, she made her way after him, following the shiny dark hair down the dim hallway and watching as Levi pushed the door to his room open and stood back to let her pass.

“Go on,” he murmured, expression completely unreadable as usual.

“Is it my birthday?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “Did you get me a Titan?”

Levi snorted.

“No such luck for you, Shitty Glasses,” he replied. “Just look, before I change my mind.”

Hange grinned at him and walked into the poky room, casting her gaze over every surface. There wasn’t much in it – just a bed and a desk with a chair, and very little else besides another set of very meticulously folded clothes and a small black tin that Hange recognised as the one containing black tea that had been Levi’s birthday gift. It made her happy to think that, out of all the personal belongings that had been abandoned in Maria, Levi had chosen to save that.

“What am I looking for?” Hange asked, shrugging as she turned to look at Levi, who was leaning against the door frame watching her.

He sighed.

“I knew your eyesight was crap, but I really didn’t think you’d miss the god damn books,” he drawled, steel-grey gaze slipping away to look at nothing to the side of him.

Hange turned her attention back to the desk and her eyes fell on the two leather-bound volumes sitting on top, with a few paper folders underneath it. Carefully, she picked one up and turned it over to look at the spine, almost dropping it in surprise as she recognised the title of the incredible rare and illegal book that she’d had back in Maria, filled with survivor accounts of the first ever recorded Titan attacks before humanity retreated inside the walls.

“How the hell did you get this?” she breathed, stroking her fingers reverently across the cover.

Levi shrugged.

“I still have some contacts you know. People who owe me some favours...I couldn’t get hold of much and I know it doesn’t come close to replacing the research that you lost, but I managed to get some stuff sent from the Military Archives in Sina too...”

He didn’t even get to finish his sentence, cut off as Hange squealed loudly and threw her arms around his neck, pulling Levi into a tight hug that almost dragged him off his feet.

“Thank you so much,” she whispered. “You have no idea how much this means.”

Hange could barely believe it, that Levi had gone through so much trouble for her, just to drag up some old books and documents for her to read through. She didn’t have to start all her research from scratch anymore.

Awkwardly, Levi patted her arm and shifted in her grasp like a cat, squirming to get out of an embrace.

“Yeah, well,” he muttered. “Just make sure you don’t leave that crap in here. Take it back to your own room or something – I don’t want to get into trouble for having an illegal book in my possession.”

“Says the former underground thug,” Hange replied with a grin, finally letting him go.

“Yeah, and just look what my punishment was for that,” Levi groused.

She smiled at him and stooped, pressing a brief, grateful kiss to his cheek and causing him to grimace.

“Thank you,” she repeated, scooping the books and documents up into her arms. “Nobody will ever know how I got hold of them, I promise. If you need me, I’ll be buried in paper!”

Levi rolled his eyes at her as she bustled past him, her mood suddenly having increased a hundred fold.

The Survey Corps had been beaten down, humanity humbled, and everybody was trying to rebuild from the ground up, attempting to recover what had been lost and make new homes for themselves. They all had a long way to go and the struggle would be hard, but the Scouts were tough and they’d all keep fighting as long as there was hope. Things may have changed, but that was the way of nature - nothing was constant, and they would keep fighting as long as they had breath in their bodies.

Hange was going to make damn sure she was ready for the next time.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed what I wrote, kudos would be greatly appreciated.
> 
> Find me on tumblr at rocksaltandroll.


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